I put on a pretty dress.
And I fell asleep in my bed.

Picking up the pieces.

Today is Ocotber first. I always love the first of the month. It would be even better if it were a Sunday. The OCD in me is all about fresh beginings that start on Sundays or the first of the month.

I feel like my life is one huge puzzle that recently was dropped. And now all the pieces are just scattered on the floor, and I have to put them all together again. You see, the pieces are all there, but I just have to find where they fit again. Perhaps some of the pieces have even become obsolete, and I have to figure out what to do with those too.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. That part of me just wishes I could have stayed under those covers in my tiny twin bed in my old room in my old house in that quiet, sweet little town. But with the the small sliver of strength left in me, I sat up, put one foot on the floor, and then the other. And I left my refuge of blankets and memories.One foot at a time. One day. One hour. One minute. One second then the next.

This is all that I have to go on, and for now this is enough.

To Do List.

1. Get Up
2. Survive.
3. Go back to bed.

["I felt the foundation begin to shake, and in my head I said, Run. But I couldn't run. Not from this place that had taken me three years to build. I held the cloth and let everything fall on top of me. My knees buckled, I went down to the floor. I cried in English, I cried in French, I cried in all the languages, because tears are the same all around the world. Esperanto."]

This just in...

I don't give a fuck.

The Next Generation

My life as of late consists of crying on the couch, while watching emotionally charged episodes of Degrassi.

Sometimes your 20's just plain suck.

Does he think we're hookers? No- we're wearing cardigans!

Forgot how much I miss those girls, how nice it is to have those conversations where none of us ever finishes our sentences because there is no need to...we understand eachother so well that we already know what each person is gettting at.

Sometimes it is good to be surrounded by those people who remind you of who you were, and who you are today.

My girls saved me tonight, like they have before, and like they will again.

Holding out hope.

Strip away the layers and reveal your soul.
You've got to give yourself up, and then you become whole.