I thought I would wait until I get back to Colorado to blog about all I have seen, done, and learned on this trip to California, but perhaps it is better to write it now as it sit in the lovely pasadena house on a beautiful afternoon.
California- the people, the city- has been everything I thought it would be and at the same time not a bit what I expected.
This is a place that would challenge me, and you know that is something I can't resist. I feel like living here it is a challenge each day to keep up, survive the rat race, and still maintain your integrity and morals. If I ever do make the move, I will NEVER forgot my roots, the people who shaped me into me, and the values I hold that no one can take from me.
On a relational level, this trip has been amazing as well. I am staying with my stepbrother whom I have never been close to. I guess I always associated him with his mother and her mistakes, but I realize now that he had nothing to do with her actions. He was probably as upset and hurt as we were. And he has been amazing to me, as well as his wife. They have taken me in and along the way we have really gotten to know each other. It's funny how much easier it becomes to let go of grudges as you get older. I guess I am learning that life is full of mistakes that are often painful, but we are all human and that pain is just part of the bargain that is being alive.
Along those line, I have also had an epiphany relating to my dating patterns as of late. I have finally come to see that I am ready for something real. Something that doesn't involve a smooth talker with a pretty face. And when my gut tells me someone is not good for me, I am going to listen. I am not going to try to change someone or try to fix all of their problems, because honestly we can only do that for ourselves. Nope, I am ready for someone real, with a heart I can feel, with love to give that doesn't hurt, with integrity and morals, and an appreciation for life.
So even though I still have 5 days left here, I feel the insight and lessons I am already gaining are tremendous. Now I just have to sit back, and enjoy the california sunshine:)
