Sllly VDay was actually quite lovely. We made white chocolate and rasberry mousse crepes from scratch! And they were delicious, I might add:) Then we watched Big Fish, when I proceeded to fall asleep. I know, I know big surprise!
I just finished reading about Relational Dialects, and I was comforted by what I read.
"Bonding occurs in both intedependence with the other and independence from the other. One without the other diminishes the relationship"
"Although most of us embrace the traditional ideals of closenss, certainty, and openess in our relationshp, we are also drawn toward the exact opposite- autonomy, novelty, and privacy....The nature of [these] dialectical pressures guarantees that or relationships will be complex, messy, and always somewhat on edge."
"Baxter describes dialogue as an aesthetic accomplishment, 'a momentary sense of unity through a profound respect for the disparate voices in dialogue.'...It's a fleeting moment that can't be sustained. Yet, memories of that magic moment can support a couple through the turbulence that goes with the territory of sny close relationship."
This communicative theory gives me a new understanding of myself and others, and as it says in the book, "The theory helps [one] realize that the ongoing tensions they experience with their friend, family members, or romantic partner are an inevitable part of relational life, rather than a waning sign that something is terribly wrong with their partner or themselves."
So, uh thanks Lesli Baxter and Barbara Montgomey for creating this theaory and helping me feel like less of an ice queen, social weirdo, incapable of love:)
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